Things that make me smile and cry at the same time....

This is probably going to be another one of those long posts. The reasons post like this are written is because they hold very little meaning to what people might care but post like this are written for myself. Theres to many to talk about in my life. Just thinking of the past two years would be enough to write a 2000 page biography. But out of all my friends and lovers no one else compares to God who stood by me. Then again when I think about it, it was also my friends who stood by me every time I needed help. Friends that left me and friends that I left. They all remain the same to me.
Friends
I think I have told most of you about my friends in posts like 6 Months To Australia. But you haven't met my new friends here and also my old friends who have progressed so much after 2007 or 2008. I'll just give you readers some update. I met a number of friends in my school last year.Macleod College. It was one of the best school I ever studied in my life.And I met a group of eople that left me fond memories. I'll just talk about friends I left now.Recently I realize some friends have changed in the inside but a few remained the same just as I left them. The thing I regret is leaving all my friends. If I didn't leave them everything would be very different. But at the same time I'm glad I left Malaysia. I have changed so much since leaving thanks to my experience. My friends have now got on to very different lives. But one will forever stay the same and in my memories he is still the same person the first day I really made friends with him.

An Old Friend
I knew this friend for a very long time. 10 years ago when which was the longest memory I have of Canaan. I was in Canaan since I was two or three but can't remember any memories that long ago. But I knew him 10 years ago.I use to recognize him as the second son from that nice family with the friendly uncle and my beginner class teacher. I seem to remember my friend at the time because he was taller than his older brother. But the three of the siblings behaved the same way. Well mannered and respectful. Years later my friend grew up to be a teenager while I was ten or eleven. In hosanna kids he came and sang a song called "I Believe In Heaven". I thought his voice was brilliant and until now I try to mimic the same singing style he used in my songs. Then by the end of the year, he helped out in VBS as a bassist. At the time I newly picked up the instrument. There was a envious of his ability and at the same time impressed. I said "WOW...perhaps one day I'll jam with him and served as a musician with him". At the end of that year during Christmas I joined the YTU Christmas Carol Group. He sang a part of the song "And the Gift Goes On" which I thought was great. Sadly a few weeks before the program was to go on he fell ill. It came as a surprise to me.At first I thought he was off in a holiday to Taiwan with his family but he fell ill. The impact on me was not that much as it hit me two years later. In 2006 he began his battle. He fought the illness with faith in God and he wrote a special blog about his journey. That blog inspired me to start this one. At the end of 2006, I was glad to see he was back. But saddened to see him. I couldn't recognize him at first. He was pale and thin but had the same smile. I didn't dare to approach him because I was worried for some reason that I might disturb his illness.At the time I did not want to disturb him. It was strange because after reading his blog for so long.I knew him from a distance but hardly knew him at all. The first time we interacted was during 2007 March Gospel Camp. He shared the same apartment with me. I mad emy best effort to make friends with him and learned that he is now a brilliant electric guitarist. At YTU sometimes we chat. But the conversation were just brief ones. At the end of the year, one day I volunteered to be the Acoustic and Rhythm Guitarist for VBS. I was so happy. I waited for two years to serve with him. We jammed at the first session. I showed him the chords I wrote down on the song. I was glad that he liked the chords and work I done. We worked together very well. I supported him in play. He would take the cool solos and riff while I cruise around with my strums and small riffs. Another memorable moment was when I wen't to a jam session at his place. My brother was the one who played while I watched. My brother asked me to take over him in playing and one of them asked me to show what I can play. I played a riff from The Beatles "I Feel Fine".Uncle Richard recognized to riff and asked me to show him. Later that day we jammed together. We played old songs like House of the Rising Sun, Ticket To Ride, Have you ever seen the rain, and Let It Be. I was very happy. VBS came and we did our best. I remember one night Daniel called me and asked me to come with him to my friends place to practice a scene. I remember dancing around in thatroom to "Ya Pun WA Wa" by Sam Hui with Daniel. My brother and Weng Kit was there and they were having fun and laughing. At the end he let us play with his new Nintendo Wii. We played Naruto and I had trouble playing but he was very skilled. VBS ended and nothing much happened but one day he came and played futsal with us. I was so happy because I thought he was now healthy as ever and nothing would change now. After that session Joel and him invited me for another jam session. This time we jammed a number of Bon Jovi songs. He sat next to me playing bass.In the end his younger brother invited me to have some noodle in a restaurant in Serdang. But I couldn't go with them because my aunt was expecting me back at home. That was the last time I saw my friend in person. That very jam session. I guess music had a lot to do with our friendship. A day or two later he discovered that his illness was back. Then I wen't to Australia and had very very shot conversation with him in te net and using his blogs chatbox.I think it was mostly because of his tough therapies. I'm very impress with him and his family with the way they cope with the challenges that some their way. There was one time, when his younger brother switched on his webcam and I saw him sitting next to his brother. I said hi. I was so glad to see him. He looked very different. But his laugh was the same. By August someone told me that there was a chance all that he would be fully cured. I thanked God when they found it. e was cured for a while and even left the hospital expecting to get home soon. But for some reason he fell back ill again. By August the worst had happened he fell into a coma. I received new that he was gone a few hours later. But strangely someone said that he was still fighting. On August 20 he wen't back home to the Lord. I remember that morning. In the train, strangely no one told me he was gone. I just kept telling myself to prepare for the worse hoping that the opposite will happen and he will be up and healthy again. But when I wen't home my mum came to me. In my mind I thought " Don't say it.....I know he is gone" and when she told me, I just nodded and said "Yea...i knew". My whole body went into a stand still. For a month my mind and body just wen't into a uneven mode. i didn't do the usual things I did. I didn't sing or write. All I thought was how things are and what things will be. I planned so much for the future for me,my friends and him. But it was really Gods plan all along. Thinking about him would make me cry and also smile. I hoping to see him soon. The older I get, the better it is I now say. For the time will come when we will meet again.